Just Cant Anymore

My mom is mad at me because my car needed new tires (which it really didnt) and it was 600$ 

its MY fault.

it's my fault that they decided to buy me a brand new car and people bang it up at school. Its my fault that the tires that I didn't really need cost 600$ that we don't have. 

everything in my house hold is MY fault

All the fights are my fault because apparently I'm such a problem 

I cause my parents grief and i'm just a problem child

It's my fault that I'm not in a nice college because I didn't try hard enough in high school (okay maybe that is my fault)

It's my fault that my mother is so unhappy.

She expects me to have a full time job, be a full time student and get strait A's as well as clean the house walk the dog everyday for a few miles (because I need it) my room must always be super clean. Maybe that was easier back in her day and  I know some people still do it.

But I can't. It's expensive living out here.. I take on hard classes that she can't seem to understand.I have been overwhelmed with homework and trying to keep up with everything. She wants me to quit sculpting because it's getting me nowhere. Thanks mom that really shows me how much you support me. She constantly tells me she will stop supporting me if I don't get my act together. I'm sorry that I'm trying really hard. I'm sorry that I'm terrified of going into animation because I don't want to fail. I'm sorry that I can't constantly do your bidding. Most the time she doesn't ask for much and I do it but sometimes she just starts blaming me for all her problems. Its not enough apparently. I just got a job but that still doesn't please her. 

I just really can't take it anymore. I try to be happy and good. I stay at home I hardly go out I don't do drugs and I don't really drink ever. She constantly reminds me I'm 21 but treats me like I'm 5. I just don't know what to do anymore.

She won't admit that I have learning problems, or ADHD, or that I have depression. She thinks getting help is stupid. I have anxiety attacks all the time but she just thinks I'm crazy. Nothing I do will ever please her it seems. I know most the time she's trying to help but she does it in the harshest way :/ I know I shouldn't complain because it could be so much worse :/ It's  just hard feeling like I'm constantly being put down or I'm not good enough.